I have for a very long time been friends with my best friend Malia. Let’s say I have known her almost for a duration I have gotten to know myself. Malia has been one person who’s greatly imparted my life in all areas. Physically (workouts), emotionally, spiritually and even socially. I would have been something totally different, say a weirdo? If I didn’t have someone help me get back on track.

I have lived with the worst kind of paranoia for almost all the years I have lived on this earth. “God, this is crazily ridiculous”! I preferred to sense danger where it wasn’t and even see smoke where there wasn’t a fire. Ahhh.. I know that does not make sense somehow but I’m almost getting into something quite serious.

There comes a time in a girl’s life, that she gets to separate herself from her friends. Its queasy cause in most cases, it is never intentional. This mostly gets to happen when the girl starts to “grow” and get a little bit more social. You feel me there? I wish I’d use myself as an example but “Hey Malia! I’m about to spill some porridge right here!”

Malia got herself a really wonderful boyfriend. I didn’t get to talk much about our kinds of traits but honestly speaking, she’d be the one who helped me come out of my cocoon. I had not known that all this time, there was something about her that needed to be ridded off her. She’d have great insecurities that’d often lead her to make crazy assumptions and conclusions.

Love has not changed really, but a lot that involves it has changed. In days of old, we wouldn’t hear or see much of what we here now, I wonder if our forefathers would call their spouses or even their girlfriends, babe, hun, sweetheart, pancake, name them.. Let alone all that, how did they even meet? I remember a time I met a guy in town. I held on to some dustbin that’s near Hilton Hotel. I mean, I didn’t have balance. Ha! Ha!

I’m trying to think of so many people right now. My grandparents, my parents, my aunts and uncles already married, how did they meet? How did they react? Were there dates during their time? And texts? How about when they argued? Had insecurities? This is it! This is what I want to delve into!

Malia had an amazing boyfriend. She loved him so so much but she was so very insecure. Often she’d call me and tell me all these things she felt. It’s weird when your best friend calls you to advise on such and you’re there thinking about how your grandparents survived it. Ah! It is not easy oh! I had to learn to help anyway. In the process, I would also become a perfect student of modern love today.

Malia often told me about how she would want her marriage to be like. As girls, we all have these dreams. We’d even book a gown before we have even met our mate. Now the greatest thing we forget is that when we have seen so far, which is not a bad thing is of course, we forget to live that present moment. When our mate tells us to focus on the present and make it better during that time that we have the opportunity to, we think they are not serious in the relationship. Sometimes we start having imaginations and wishes like “Oh, I wish I met him and we got married the next day!”

Malia had great goals and visions for their relationship. The only thing that caused it not to feel like it’d ever happen was that she didn’t live that moment. All she talked about was marriage, a house and children. Her insecurities were honestly too great because her amazing boyfriend had to give her 100% attention even as they walked along the streets. She had a bad anger and it was mostly over nothing and preferred not to trust anyone, even her boyfriend.

Well, as inexperienced as I was, I decided to sit her down and made her understand how to handle love today. I don’t mean to say that I had all the juicy information to give that’d transform the relationship in a snap, no. I honestly knew nothing at the time but yes, I did talk to my bestie. Hehe.

Young people today are very much exposed to so much. There’s exposure of good and bad and some of this has contributed to either growth or destruction. From what we watch, listen to, read, we choose how to shape our lives from the same and we teach or show others what we’ve become. Malia had known me, all her life and I’m the only person’s traits she’d read best. She needed an adjustment and that was how to understand love today. Her guy may have as many friends, but if he was often there, it meant that she was so important to him.

I didn’t really know if this conversation was leading us anywhere, but I asked Malia to learn to live the present moment. What was special about each hour they spent? How were they to create any memories if their lanes were miles apart? One thing I knew, as inexperienced and the rookie I was in love, even romance needed a day at a time. It needed to be taken step by step. A day at a time gives us room to learn and to be better. Same applies to love.

As it is today, Malia hardly looks for me to talk about her romantic boyfriend. But she does look for me when she needs to take me out for a pizza. We can’t water a second flower when the first us already withering. Love needs to be nurtured where it is and that’s where it gets to bloom from. To this day, Malia always tells me that this was one conversation that taught her to take everything a day at a time. Everything and not just the relationship!  I’m a proud love rookie!


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