In the silence of your heart and that of your mind, there is a certain kind of hurt. There is an imbalanced emotion and a struggle to love self and others. This is how pain speaks and even if we didn’t know, pain deserves to be discussed, to be heard and to be healed. I’ll tell you how.
So good morning to you beloved. On this 2nd day of March, It is my hope that you are doing well. Lol, it feels like I’m writing a letter of application for a job. Hey! Are you hopping from one place to another and leaving a joyous effect? That should be life today, tomorrow and the rest of your life.
Today I’m going to delve a litu into the issue of silence and hurt. But we need to understand sometimes that silence is relieving and other times, it causes a kind of pain that feels like a stab in the back, right through your chest. Well, I just want you to imagine that kind of pain. It is unfortunate that silence also gets to make us walking zombies. We have problems, we are hurting, there are grudges we hold, yet still, we choose to suppress it in.
Another thing we have to understand is that the negative effect is not to us only. Once we have all these issues bottled up, we start to hate, we start to look at people and situations very differently. We stop to love. Imagine a situation whereby you are in your office. Your boss came up to you and decided to embarrass you in front of all the other employees. There was probably this report you needed to submit last evening before you left the office but for some very genuine reason, you did not make it. You do not address the issue with your boss, you stop talking to your colleagues, but you keep working until you are finally able to submit the report. It’s painful.
The effect now becomes this. You hate your boss with your entire being for humiliating you, and you have lost friendships you created with your colleagues. Why? Even if they try reaching out to you, the fact that the deed happened as they watched makes you feel like their victim. Like they’d done some kind of collaboration with your boss and now your life is surrounded with bitterness. Nothing seems good to you anymore. Not even the job you so much loved. What, what then are you supposed to do?
On the second week of February, I put myself in this kind of situation. I spent an entire day with my best friend. I later towards the end of the day got to witness something that threw me off balance. One, I didn’t even talk about it. I just suddenly became very furious, I began to treat my friend with cruelty and they couldn’t even understand it cause I said nothing at all about it. I was the most bitter person that evening. I didn’t see anything wrong with what I did. What I knew is that it was I that had been hurt. I couldn’t even sleep. (True story). I wasn’t aware of what was going on on the other end.
What is it I didn’t do and probably what you have not done yet? Speak. Speak this way: It is also imperative to understand that you just don’t get blabbing. The useful kind of silence comes in when you sit, reflect on what’s happening in and around you, that way you will know how exactly to address the issue. Never speak to make another person look like the villain, speak in such a way that the other person knows that it’s not only for your good, but theirs as well. That’s when people get to know what changes they need to make within themselves and how they can make adjustments to what probably causes them to keep bringing the dead kinds of air or painful kinds of moments.
So I’m here to let you know this. Until it is proven necessary, then keep silent. But if you’re most certain that speaking out will not only make you better but those around you as well, then speak. Speak and release the hurt. Speak and change yourself to something better. Speak and change the other person to someone better. It never is harmful to speak up. It is just powerful if done when necessary.
Let us take an example of Jesus. At that time during His passion, everyone was so brutal with them. He kept silence most of the time because He didn’t want to cause a scandal because of the difference between who He really was, and the perception everyone else had. Everyone else who didn’t want to hear or know the truth. At the most opportune time and when it was absolutely necessary, He spoke in form of prayer. This happened at the cross when He prayed for all of them. Prayer remember, transforms us. Jesus wasn’t selfish to seek justice for all He went through. Instead, He knew His prayer would transform the lives of His oppressors. He in a loud voice looked up to heaven and prayed; “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
May we always look to Christ as our example, so that we will be build in character, from the inside out. Thanks a lot for taking time to read. Please share widely.
From my heart to yours. 🙂