Hey guys, how have you been those past few days? Good I hope? Well all is well on my end (kinda) and i can’t say I’m not grateful but truly I am and really trying to keep it at that.
So this week for me has been somewhat a dark one. Have you been at that point where you felt you were stuck? In mud? Cannot move and there’s no one to hold your hand? Well that was it for me. Nothing feels frustrating as just being there, knowing you’ll wake up to a particular routine that has been, since 1st January 2016. By the way, do you know just how many days it is to 31st December 2016? Do you think it is a joke getting here?
So today as I walked to get a Maruti and get to the stage and just come to work, I was just with thoughts and with tears in my eyes. I really deserve to tear a little considering the fact that I was tired not only physically but emotionally too. I was simply connecting with self at the time. So here’s why. 2016 has had its highs for me and it has had its lows. I weathered it all, but I don’t know why this particular day was different. I felt like I was moving backward, rather than forward. I needed a motivator!
“God, why is it that I have been feeling so all week? Why I’m I so low? Why are the days so long and the nights really short?” That was all in my mind. Again some more questions continued to race through my mind, and i could get no answer to either, “Do i have to report to the same place of work? God, don’t I have more potential? Lord, will you keep me here all my life? How much longer did i need to wait?
So i get to work and it is still the same feeling and I’m like uggh.. By the way, the feeling is so sincere. I’m tired. I don’t know whether this really was the right time cause a colleague, a friend told me the exact words I needed to hear. “You are the only person that can motivate yourself, as you have got no other option” ad for a moment there I didn’t even have anything to say but “true”
I know as human beings we will feel this way, often too many times. But if we did let each day come with darkness, clearly even when it is so bright, our lives will be in a similar state. Darkness. So I have learnt that when God is about to do something, something greater in your life, He makes you really uncomfortable. I never held true these words but today more than ever, I do. There is so much we can take in but does it make our faith weaker or stronger or weaker?
Britt Nicole sings and says… “Your faith is all you need and you can walk on the waters too” It is no coincidence that most testimonies I’ve heard this year have been attributed to faith in God! How is your attitude? When you pray, do you believe? A mountain won’t move if you just ask it to. But it will move if you command it to. That is faith! Otherwise you’ll just keep going round it and nothing will seem different!
Does that make us want to have a spectacular end of the year? Of course yes! I wouldn’t want anything different, so help us JESUS!
I’m glad you read this. From my heart to yours. 🙂