THAT DAY :-(

Hi guys! I trust you’re well and keeping it better if not best. Keep keeping on! Forward is forward. 🙂

I’m not at my best today. It is actually one of those days, or should I call it “That day?” I woke up feeling very tired. I did everything at a very slow pace and didn’t seem to anticipate anything good for the day. It was actually very strange because I didn’t know what exactly it is I needed. To be honest, there was a battle I was fighting and I didn’t know with whom or what I was fighting.

I felt alone, I felt depressed and however much anyone tried to reach out, my response was “I don’t know. I however tried to make as many conversations as I would just to distract myself from the pain in my throat, the tears I could feel in my eyes and the sudden drowsiness. However, there’s never an escape to such a feeling for me. This reminds me of some lyrics by Britt Nicole.

When my friends and my family have left me. And i feel so ashamed and so cold, remind me that you take the broken things and turn them into beautiful.:-)

So I’ll stop searching for the answers, I’ll stop praying for an escape. And I’ll trust You God with where I am and believe that YOU WILL HAVE YOUR WAY.

There’s something I would and have wanted to find answers to and I don’t think I have. Either I have and didn’t want to believe it was it, or I’m still fighting and struggling to find the answer. Earlier today I had quite a number of questions in my heart and in my mind.

  • Lord, I’m I living that very purpose you have called me to live? I’m I far from the design?
  • Lord, what is Your will for my life? I’m I far from it? Have I made the right choices?
  • Lord, I’m I running away from You? Does it seem like a fight? Why do I feel so alone today?

It’s a lot today. It’s like a mist and fog in my mind and heart. I’m at an alone place. I don’t know if God is there. I choose to believe He is as He can see just how much I’m struggling with it. No words to converse with my Creator.  I don’t understand why I’m doing so badly in my relationship with the King of Kings. Could it be the reason I’m blind to see that beautiful picture of His plan for me?

fa1da719cdb309c5b556ff5d407aaf18 There was just one thing I needed. Peace and a smile. I want to let it go but time and again, it keeps coming back as a reminder and I feel so wrong! 😦 Sooo… I’m still trying to figure out what to do. I know emotions come and go, so this one too will. It is just crappy. But far from it, I was really encouraged by a scripture this morning. To understand just how close the Lord wants to get.

For your Maker is your husband
the Lord Almighty is his name
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
He is called the God of all the earth. (Isaiah 54:5)

I’m amazed at how my Creator would liken Himself to a husband. Do you know how close a wife and husband actually are? The Lord intends to actually get closer than just how a friend would want to get. He does not have limitations unless we ourselves limit Him.ff8c720562e433183a8493b171e31d9cI’m at the moment very alone and downcast, but I cannot ignore the fact that I’m limiting my Creator’s presence in my life. I need Him every second of my life because He will always stick closer with love than a brother. 🙂

One last one to lift us up from Jason’s Gray, “Nothing is Wasted”

From the ruins
From the ashes
Beauty will rise
From the wreckage
From the darkness
Glory will shine
Glory will shine

Be very blessed and lifted up in Jesus Name!

From my heart to yours 🙂

 

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